Straight Edge Life

My girl is going out to a bar with a couple of friends of ours from high school tonight. I’m at home working, as usual. My 9:00 am meeting is demanding another couple of hours of work out of me today and the hell if I’m going to get up at 6:30 to get that done. So here I am, once again thinking about how much of a fool I can be at times.

When I really want something I’ll make it happen, even if I have to invent it. I so willingly convinced myself that she was giving it up for good. She never actually said that, but that’s what I heard. And it’s been nearly a year since her last drink (so she says). So, that’s what I told myself; that she was giving it up. And for a short while I was happy in that illusion.

Tonight she came in and casually said she was probably going to have a few drinks tonight. Out of the blue, for no particular reason. I guess she never quit drinking officially, and certainly for not any kind of ideological reason, so I should not be surprised. And I’m not, I guess. I’m just disappointed. I can’t guess at her reasoning for drinking or not drinking. Perhaps because she’s on vacation, away from her job, which requires exacting clarity, she feels a few drinks are totally cool. Perhaps it’s some social thing because the people she’s going out with are pretty heavy drinkers. I don’t know.

The thing I know with amazing clarity tonight is that I’m still not ok with my friends drinking. I have the most amazing admiration for people who don’t drink. For the ones who choose not to drink specifically because of ideological reasons. The ones who don’t make it a conditional or situational choice. They are the rock foundations of my world. And I want to be surrounded by that kind of strength. Because I think it takes a stunning amount of character to choose the straight edge life. Strength, courage, stamina and intelligence.

Anything that tests your will in such a healthy way just can’t be wrong. I mean, when’s the last time you committed to something as healthy as living straight edge and stuck to it? How’s that diet going? How’s your commitment to spend more time with your kids? Or to work less? Those with the resolve to see and understand a healthy idea and follow through with it for themselves by demonstrating it in their lives are heros. My heros. They will never see my disrespect.