Straight Edge Life

Just got back from seeing Land of the Dead. I always enjoy a good zombie flick. Unfortunately this one didn’t seem that good to me. Might have been the monster headache I was trying to fight off. That always gets in the way of enjoying zombie horror. It’s been a long weekend. Lots of work on the house, a bit of real work. And lots of trying to relax. It’s hard to relax when I’ve got so much on my mind. Things are definitely easing off a bit. The house is almost kinda under control. I finished a major project recently (leaving only two major projects to finish) and I’ve already got a few folks on the line as possible house mates. For some weird reason though I keep feeling like I want to spend Christmas alone this year. Things are suddenly different and I kinda want a bit of time to either completely forget about all of it or to think it over by myself.

I decided today that I’m going to seriously cut back or eliminate my TV watching for a while. Not permanently, but for a while. TV doesn’t get a damn thing done. Neither does reading the brain candy Dean Koontz books I read either. I have committed to cutting back on those as well. I’d like to cut back on computer time, but with work I’m only going to be able to cut back on non-work computer time. Which I’ve been doing already. Anyways… point is that I feel like living a bit more well-rounded life. If I replace even half of my tv or non-work computer time with working out, even for only a month, I’ll be in good shape pretty quickly.

A couple of my friends are doing multi-day show-shoe trips and 24 hour races. Others are climbing Cathederal Peak as I write this entry. And it’s not that I’m jealous of their endeavors. Personally, I’d rather be lugging a full camera bag into the hills for a few days of photography. I don’t need to climb 5.12 anymore… but I do want to be fit enough to go the places I want to go, to shoot the things I want to shoot and not be burdened by poor fitness. I’ve done a hell of a lot of work to become stable as my own boss. I need to start taking advantage of it. Otherwise all the annoying sacrifices of becoming my own boss will be wasted.

To ramble on a bit more… I feel like one of the greatest disciplines in my life is to fight the power of distraction. There are a lot of distractions out there, and when things are going just well enough that none of your problems are especially threatening it’s easy to get lazy and push them aside. I never realized that when I was younger most of the things I did, climbing, traveling, photography, design, and drawing were there to help me figure stuff out. Tools. And that was exactly what made me love them so much. It wasn’t an inherent love for drawing that made me draw, it was a need that could only be fulfilled with pencil, pastel or ink. And I loved the sweet relief a night of drawing could bring. The solution. Now… I’m finding that I miss a few of these things. Maybe it’s because I’m truly in love with photography. Maybe it’s because my life isn’t as together as I want to make myself believe.