Straight Edge Life

Just got back from a trip out into Utah for a bit of photography and relaxation. Equal amounts of both, so it wasn’t an entirely serious photo trip. Casual shooting, casual hiking, lots of driving. The weather was great, even had a few thunderstorms. Great stuff. But as I’m sitting here editing my images I wish I could still be out there. A little more seriously this time.

Photography is what matters to me. Relaxation comes and goes, but photography teaches me. It’s not just a desire to shoot, it’s a need. Shoot, edit, print, sell. All four of those take me through the “process” of art. Instinct, self-discovery, voice, technique, and finally, validation. A lot of my work, the majority of my work, is never shown to anyone. I skip that last bit of validation simply because all I need is to know my own voice. To find my own path, to clarify my thoughts. But in whatever combination these things come they are essential to me. Completely, totally critical.

So, why does it take a third party to tell me what I need to hear? Rather, why does it take a third party to make me listen to the things I’ve been telling myself? To find what is essential.

This trip was great, perhaps one of the best I’ve ever had… but I need more. Something where photography is my only focus.

Getting back to my point about third parties… my life is scattered, progressively fragmented by a dangerous entanglement of work and life. It’s been cramping my creativity severely. My focus is all messed up. I can’t concentrate on my photography with any success and I’ve been making odd decisions. I can barely bring myself to pick up my bag and go shooting. So… at the urging of an article I recently read about motivation and creativity in the digital age, I am giving up AIM/iChat (except by appointment) and will only check email at designated times during the day. Maybe three or four times. TV, is also on it’s way out. I’d also like to turn off my phone, but I’m not sure that one is going to be possible. Things that I have considered many times in the past to help me regain my focus, but never did because I didn’t have any kind of backup telling me it actually could help. So… stick with me as I try this little experiment. The results should be worthwhile.