Straight Edge Life

Got it. Got the xserve. Got it in my office right now, drowning out all other sounds with it’s colossal blowers. I can not tell you how excited I am about this. I’m setting it up, getting it ready for it’s co-located home on the backbone. Soon, very, very soon Pixenter, SXEL, and a number of other sites of mine will have a new home. Scary thing is though, that I have so many things to learn about this server. I mean a LOT to learn. It’s a totally foreign hardware setup and a new os with new management tools. Not to mention the fact that I am used to being in the same physical location as my server. This thing is going to be in a locked data center a few miles away. Hmm. Time to get my feet wet.

A matinee price and a doubledecker busload of English soccer hooligans driving the wrong way down a French street cursing at the French for driving on the wrong side of the road makes for a fun afternoon. Eurotrip plays on a lot of stupid stereotypes, yes, but if you’re able to take a joke, including many about Americans, you will probably have fun with this light teen flick about four friends traveling across Europe. There is no plot to speak of. And anyone who needs a plot in a movie like this should have tomatoes thrown at them by other moviegoers who actually have a sense of humor. There are a ton of funny little moments in Eurotrip, which is exactly what this movie is about. And I’d love to tell you about them… but won’t because you should see them for yourself. It’s worth it, especially at a matinee price.

Oh, and it might be worth mentioning that this movie has more comedic nudity in it than I’ve seen in quite some time. Including, I’d say, 40 penises, 10 breasts, and one hella funny S+M scene in an Amsterdam sex shop. But that was in the preview so I’m not really giving anything away.

Yeah, it’s pointless. Yeah, it’s dumb. But sometimes that’s exactly what you need. Right?

I’ve written a review of Monster with Charlize Theron. I went and saw it this afternoon. I’m still stunned by every aspect of this movie. In it’s entirety, it is probably the best film I’ve ever seen. I’m not saying it’s one I’m going to watch over any over again, but damn, it’s solid. Absolutely incredible. And Charlize Theron is stunning. The movie is simple, straightforward, involves the audience, honest, and just generally no bullshit.

And as for me. I’m doing fairly well. I’m facing a couple of deadlines and one big struggle to keep myself healthy. I don’t sleep well enough. I don’t eat well enough. And I don’t get out to play often enough. I’m realizing that I’m a somewhat undisciplined man. I work too hard and I work as an excuse to avoid other aspects of my life that bug me. Now that I know this I’m not entirely sure how to fix it. I worry though that it may become a cycle and will be hard to break down the line. I mean it’s probably good for starting a business (an event anyone will tell you requires pathological focus), but it’s probably not so good for a guy who’s trying to improve quality of life, not just his bank account. Although I wouldn’t mind taking care of both. Ah, to dream…

I have a good friend in LA who is a bit of an audiophile. When I say “a bit” I mean that in the

“hey I just bought some new speaker cables”

“oh yeah, how much?”

“$1000″

“woah, did you wire up your whole house or something”

“No, they’re just for my main speakers. They’re 6 feet long.”

…kind of way. He’s a nut, a great guy, and he knows his stuff. I asked him once about what makes a good system. Rather than tell me about a bunch of components he simply said “A good system is one where the speakers vanish and you feel like you are in the room with the musician”. This is exactly what I feel separates a good movie from a great movie… When the filmmaking completely disappears and you are in the room with the characters. When the plot, story, characters and settings are the only thing you notice. It opens a door between the audience and the story and makes it infinitely more enjoyable as an experience.

Go see Monster. The filmmaking is completely transparent. It’s one of the best films I’ve ever seen. Charlize Theron deserves every award on the face of this planet for her performance. The movie is incredible.

It’s not an easy film to watch. It’s pretty hard actually. From the comfort of my cushy chair at Cinemark 17 I felt as uncomfortable as I have ever felt watching a movie. A week prior to seeing it I got an email from my friend in Minneapolis, Sara, telling me that she had to console a friend for an hour after seeing it because she couldn’t stop crying.

It’s disturbing not only because of the content itself. The circumstance, the events, everything… it’s tough to watch. But what’s most difficult is how easy it is to relate to the characters. And it’s not just in a rational way. You don’t sit there and go, ok, that makes sense, she’s killing because this or that happened to her and that justifies what she’s doing (in a street vengeance sort of way). For me, and I think most people, it’s more experiential than that, it’s more emotional and primal. You RELATE because you are so close to the characters. The acting is so strong that there really is NO barrier between you and the events that have shaped them into who they are. And what it might tell you about yourself, the way you might feel while watching this, well that’s the scariest most disturbing part of it. This represents the best in moviemaking in my opinion. I give it 10/10.

Howdy all. I’ve dumped some very very outdated web design techniques in favor of some far more accessible and hopefully better looking development techniques. The front page is now flexible width for smaller and larger screens. It’s coded in transitional xhtml / css which should make it more accessible to palm, screen-reader, text and phone browsers. Hope you like it. Once I tune up the front page and get it looking just right I’ll apply the same techniques on the inside of the site. Cheers. - Ari

If you have problems with the layout, please let me know. I can’t test on all platforms. I need to know what you guys are seeing. Thanks.

I sold my TV and DVD player today. Feels good… two things I don’t have to deal with anymore. Two fewer things (two less things?) to carry around, pack up and move, worry about, care about, or think about. I like the idea of lightening my load. I have a lot of stuff. Most of which I do actually use on a regular basis. Plenty that I don’t. I hope to soon have my belongings reduced to where I can fit them into a car. Not a suburban, a Jetta. Better yet, a GTI.

You know, in a new jetta, you can put down the back seat and, if you’re shortish (170cm or so) you can sleep there in relative comfort. If I can fit all my belongings in the back seat and trunk of a jetta and still sleep there I’ll be happy. A few changes of clothes, sleeping bag, some camera gear, laptop, a few favorite dvds and some basic stuff like toothbrushes and mouthwash. Imagine that; imagine having so little to worry about. I can imagine it. I makes me smile just thinking about it.

I’m too much of a movie hound to give up TV or a DVD entirely. I didn’t get rid of them for philosophical reasons. I don’t believe TV rots your brain (unless you don’t know how to change a channel) I simply traded out three objects (laptop, tv and dvd player) for one object (abetter laptop that can take care of all three functions). Less stuff to take care of, less stuff to cart around. Streamlined livin’. Makes it that much easier to get out.

“My snappy comeback to those who claim Macs are more expensive is:
That’s right, they are more expensive if your time has no value.”

— slashdot post

Coming in from the cold night air and a rush of exhaustion hits me, killing all will to work. Tonight is a night that should be spent in quiet reflection. Too much has happened. No, too much is about to happen. I’ve felt this feeling before. When I was younger is was almost ever-present. It was always there, telling me what to do, when to do it, and most importantly, why. It drove me, as it drives me now, to follow my heart. To do what I love and nothing more.

I thought tonight about when my mother told my father to tell me that she wanted me to be a photographer. To give up everything else and do it. She told him this when she was very close to the end of her life. I think I know why. It all makes sense to me in retrospect. She spent a lot of her life unhappy. It wasn’t for lack of passion or interest in life. She wasn’t bored with her life, or full of regret for a life unlived. It was nothing like that… She was unhappy because of a strange belief in fate I think… And I think she said this to my father because she saw in me an incomprehensible capacity for joy while making photos. And simply, she wanted me to be happy, and photography was one of the few places she saw that happen. She couldn’t handle watching me climb, and I don’t blame her. What mother wants to watch their child risk life and limb, right? As much as she knew it made me happy, it wasn’t pleasant for her to think about or watch.

So I feel it… I feel the truth and honesty in what she said… Now, I feel the restlessness growing almost out of control. I feel cornered emotionally. I feel quietly, almost pathologically focused. I feel that nothing in the world has a chance of stopping me. Of getting between me and photography. Not because I’m following a dying wish, but because I’ve spent too much time unhappy, and I’m sick of it. My mom was clear enough while in incredible pain to see how important it really was. And perhaps it was because she simply wanted to live some of her own dreams but knew that she wouldn’t get the chance. Perhaps she simply loved me as I loved her. Regardless, there comes a time when enough is enough, and you have to consciously choose to live and simply let life take you where it’s going to take you.

I’m not sure I’m making sense here. I’m writing thoughts that have origins in things you don’t know about. And this isn’t a life story, it’s a journal. Out of context it may not make any sense at all. But for what it’s worth, this is where I’m at. Moving forward in my life. Gaining ground. Listening to my heart. Following my passion. Choosing to live.

So little time. The sun is coming up and I’m just finishing up another night time programming session. For all my talk about going totally mobile, there’s nothing that beats a quiet room and dual monitor support for getting a hell of a lot of work done. I think working in a transient / mobile fashion as a photographer is probably a hell of a lot easier than working the same way as a programmer. When you shoot you only really need two applications, photoshop and whatever database you are using to keep track of and burn your photos. When programming I need a ton of applications open and running all at once. It’s not uncommon to be working on 30 files, 10 database tables, three browsers, and a number of other applications all at once. Anyway…

I’ve found a good flow and I’m pretty happy with it. I’ve reverted back to being a vampire these days, but it’s got to be done to get the work done. By the way, I’ve had more work than I can handle, and it’s been great. It helps me get my mind off of the weirder things in life. I’m not feeling so bad about the whole divorce thing. Now that it’s all done I’m pretty damn happy. My depression over that lasted all of 3 hours, and then it was really only because I was dehydrated and wearing pants that were a little too tight. I drank some water, got naked, and took a nap. Things felt much better after that.

So yeah hey. That’s my life for this morning. Cheers.

“A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous.”

- Ingrid Bergmen