Straight Edge Life

Got myself a nice little 8×8 inch sketchbook yesterday. I have deemed it my VW Journal, to stay in the car as I travel. It’s got a pen in the wire binding and it’s ready to accept my every thought as a I cruise out to the coast or up into the hills. I have a fondness for sitting in beautiful places and just sketching and writing. I rarely read what I’ve written because it’s a purging process, but I frequently look back at what I’ve drawn because it’s my intake of beauty. I don’t know. I think it’s really important to bring beauty into your life whenever possible. If it’s a beautiful woman, a view of a beautiful landscape, or watching a beautiful action… beauty is important.

So I came into Borders just now and sat down at one of the tables to do a little work. Of course I wanted to be near an electrical outlet so I could plug in and save battery time on my powerbook. So what do I do? I do what I always do and I sit facing the dude I think is most likely to get up and leave and sorta stare at him all funny like until he gets all uncomfortable and leaves. Takes about five minutes until he’s wiggling and squirming in his chair and finally leaves. I quickly move over into his spot only to realize that I left my power adapter at home. I’m a jerk.

“Hi i was wondering if you could help me out by telling me about the Str8 edge life style i have been contemplating going str8 edge for a while and i am finally secure enuf in my life to do so , maybe you could tell me what made you do it in the first place…..”

This came to me earlier today. I thought it might be good to post it up here because this isn’t the first time I’ve answered similar questions.

The straight edge lifestyle is loosely defined as abstinence from drugs, alcohol or promiscuous sex. It has been, but is not necessarily tied to, the hardcore music scene as that was it’s origin. Minor Threat had a very short song about it that sort of started the movement. It has also been tied to the ska music scene, the vegan scene and mistakenly (in my opinion) with sharps and skinheads at times as well. It seems that many groups who associate themselves with upright living, or political activism, or environmentalism have tagged themselves as straight edge at one time or another. The only thread common to all is the no drugs, drinking or promiscuous sex.

So, if you’re going to consider being straight edge I would recommend considering the benefits that will come to you life as a result of not smoking, drinking, or having promiscuous sex above everything else. If you need a label for yourself as straight-edge, or you need to prove something to yourself politically or socially, or mentally by doing this, well, those are fine reasons, but they don’t necessarily have anything to do directly with living the straight edge life. And in these cases living the straight-edge life probably won’t bring you what you really need.

One wonderful advantage of the straight-edge life is that it’s honest. It’s a statement of honesty. When you don’t drink, smoke, do drugs or have promiscuous sex you are denied the dishonesty of escape. I mean, there are plenty of ways to escape your problems… but when you’re living a straight edge life you’re escapes are generally more likely to be useful than harmful. In my case I chose to climb stone rather than get stoned. And I learned a hell of a lot about how to handle my problems by climbing stone. It was an honest way for me to really deal with my problems. And bringing something definitively honest into your life is a good thing to do. It’s a good habit to start.

Another thing that’s good about it is the obvious health benefits. Drugs, cigarettes and alcohol are poisons, and removing them from your body is going to reduce the stress on your physical system.

The only bitch about going straight edge is the odd social crap that arises from people who are too insecure not to see it as a threat to their social framework. Many people need substances to make social interaction possible at all, let alone fun. Be ready to accept that many people simply won’t feel comfortable with your choice. And normally I’d say screw ‘em, if they can’t accept it, they aren’t worth your time. But drinking at a minimum is a HUGE part of many cultures. And I guarantee that this includes some people in your immediate family and many close friends. I’m sure you are open-minded enough to accept their choice to continue drinking, don’t expect that they will accept your choice not to. Your social sphere may shrink. And if you are like me, this might cause a bit of resentment and a movement towards a more radical straight edge stance.

I’m not going to lie. It’s a tough life at times. At times lonely, always demanding. You have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from your troubles. You have to face them… Even boredom is unescapable. It must be overcome with strength. Being straight edge forces good choices and demands creativity. There is no easy way out once you have made the choice to live a straight edge life. No hiding places, and very little room for ambiguity. But, in finality, it’s one of the most satisfying choices I’ve never made.

Taking on a straight edge life is definitely a statement. And a beautiful one at that. But it’s a process as well, and it’s going to change you. If you need that, if you need a change, do it. You won’t be disappointed with or ashamed of who you are when you are straight edge. And for many people, I think that’s just what the doctor ordered.

Oh, and by the way… I chose the straight edge life in high school after witnessing a number of friends royally mess up their lives in a very short period of time. It goes deeper than that, but that’s where it started. I just knew that life was more precious to me than that. With all it’s ups and downs, it has always been precious to me.

Urgh. It’s late. Too friggin’ late. I’m exhausted, pooped, wiped out. If I were a mountain biker I would say I’ve bonked. If I were a climber I’d say I’m flamed. Bottom line is, I’m ready for bed. But tonight has been the night from hell. Right now, before bed, I need a few minutes just to chill. Work actually went surprisingly well tonight. I cranked through a pretty big list of bugs on my never-ending big project in record time. And that actually feels pretty good. What didn’t go well, what sucked was my personal life.

I am a magnet to the iron of chaos. Tonight, two friends came to me with two questions. One was impossible to answer. The other was so obvious and easy to answer that it revealed a much much deeper problem that needed to be dealt with first. So I spent the evening telling a good friend to start building up her self-confidence enough that she can get the guts to do what she needs to do, the inevitable, and end a friendship with someone who has treated her with disrespect for years, while trying to diffuse another friend’s desperation and urgency of my second friend’s impossible question with calming words and questions of my own. They two were run-away trains, and I have no idea whether I actually helped slow either one down or not. Hopefully now, they are both asleep. God knows I would like to be.

But I think about this a lot. It’s often when I’m the weakest that I give the best advice. I’m not able to filter my thoughts so I just forget about being polite, tactful, or delicate… I just tell it like I see it. And although I’m frequently stunned by the things I say, people keep coming back for more. Sadists I say. All of ‘em. And when I’m strong I tend to have a lot of people around me, none of whom ask me a damn thing. What gives? I have no idea. That’s why I think about this a lot.

I’ve got this vacation approaching and it’s making me nuts. I can think of almost nothing besides the long, long, long drive ahead of me. I had an opportunity to go to Turkey, but now I’m going to take a roadtrip. I’ll get more shooting done and I’ll get more time alone. As exotic as Turkey is, that’s not what I’m looking for right now. I simply need a lonely highway, a desert sky, and as much hard drive space as I can manage for my photos. I feel like I’m ready to be done mourning the end of my marriage and the loss of my mom. I feel like I’m ready to start figuring out what to do with all these things I’m feeling (how nice it is to feel again, let me tell you…). And I don’t expect to sit in the lotus position on top of a rock in the desert and figure this shit out. I plan to go do stuff. I plan to go enjoy myself in one of my favorite places on the globe. No, I plan to go enjoy myself in in my very favorite place on the globe. Because it’s only through doing things that I find strength.

Well howdy there partners. I’ve added xml rss (Really Simple Syndication) feeds to most of the content pages on this site. I hope that’s ok with y’all. RSS is a way that I can deliver a set of headlines and short summaries for the content on this site to programs you can use on your own computer. They are often used for keeping track of news headlines. All you have to do is get a small program from Versiontracker that let’s you subscribe to RSS headlines and you’ll be able to view the 10 most recent items on SXEL without having to actually go to the site. It can be a neat thing. I keep track of news from wired.com and a bunch of others. Saves me the time of opening each web page. I can sort through headlines really quickly and find the ones I want to read. I thought that certain folks might like to use a neat program like NetNewsWire Lite for Mac OS X (scroll to bottom for the free version) to keep track of headlines from SXEL. You can subscribe using the RSS link on the left of the home page, or simply enter this URL into your RSS program http://www.straight-edge-life.com/rss.lasso. Enjoy!

This was a good show. I’ve been wanting to see Kristin Hersh play live for a long time. Since I was a freshman in college. A long time ago, from two separate states my best friends Sara and Les introduced me to Throwing Muses simultaneously. I was hooked right away. Those two mixed tapes (yes tapes, I know I’m OLD) carried me through at least one very lonely winter in Illinois. A horrible time of year to be in a pretty depressing part of the country. There’s nothing there in in Illinois, in the geography to inspire. But Kristin’s music has a very gorgeous geography. Her voice. Oh God, her voice is a beautiful place where I can hide for hours at a time. And I did. And I have since way back then. So when 50 Foot Wave came through town there was no way in hell I was going to miss the show.

So, first off, this show was on Monday night. There was barely anyone there, and in true Wow hall fashion there were two opening bands starting at 9:45. So the show didn’t start until nearly midnight. And they were two pretty bad opening bands at that. Well actually, the Ovulators were pretty fun. I can’t complain too much about them. But Kristin and 50 Foot Wave, damn. Such a voice. And their sound is faster and harder than anything she’s done in the past. I really liked it. Their EP is only 6 songs long and I think they actually played them in order because I didn’t only know the words but I knew the continuity from song to song. It was a great show.

I want to take time to thank all of my readers for their support. In the last few weeks I’ve received a number of emails from people in support of straight edge life. A few who find it cool simply that this site exists. Some who find strength in knowing that, even though they may be the one straight edge kid in their town, they are not alone. And others simply have questions and comments about being straight edge.

Thank you. Thank you all for writing in to me. Sometimes I don’t feel like writing. I just don’t have a damn thing to say (amazing considering the amount of stuff I do have to say, ;-)… And this has been the case lately. But it’s all of these emails coming in from you that make me keep coming back. I feel like we’ve got a little community here. I hope you feel the same way. So keep coming back yourself, keep writing to me and I promise I will keep writing in this journal.

By the way, I’ve put my write up of the 50 Foot Wave Concert up if you want to read it.

My dad has been kidnapped by aliens. His brain has been replaced. He is not the same man.

I’d rather see him happy than ease my discomfort. I keep telling myself that over and over again. He deserves it. He deserves it in the same way I don’t know if I do. It’s been a few months shy of two years since my mom died. I suppose I knew this was coming. I didn’t know when, and I didn’t have any idea how fast it would come, or with what level of intensity. But I knew it would happen eventually. He’s met someone.

Actually, “met someone” isn’t the best way to describe it. He’s re-met someone from before he was married to my mom. How he managed to rekindle something from more than 40 years ago is a weird thing for me to understand. Was it always there? Maybe keeping him from loving my mom as completely as he could? That’s the question that keeps popping into my head. Something just doesn’t feel right about it. This woman has inspired fabulous changes in my dad… I think. It’s hard for me to figure out why they didn’t happen before. It’s just a lot to think about. And honestly, I wouldn’t even mention this if there weren’t such a creepy feeling about it hovering around my head.

Where it came from, I do not know. But it knocked on my door only 24 hours ago, and has not left. Between the waking hours, working hours and fractional slumber, there has been a mysterious math working it’s way into my soul. A balanced equation of sorts. A trail into the heavens, where I have never been.

Neal Stephenson interview about his new book, The Confusion on wired.com.